Why have a social life when you can have internet and a netflix account instead
(Source: sorry, via fuckour-lives)
im pretty sure somebody hid the final paragraph of my essay on a shelf i cant reach, but i dont want to jump to conclusions
IS THIS REAL.
LETS ALL APPRECIATE FOR A MOMENT THAT THE UNIVERSE EVOLVED JUST RIGHT TO MAKE THIS PUN POSSIBLE
Print it. Fuck it.
am i supposed to laugh at “print it. fuck it.” or the fact that the dude is the fucking same guy as the little advertisement in the same position im so confused
when my mom was pregnant with me my sister decided she didn’t want another sibling so one day she took my brother’s toy cars and lined them by my mom’s room’s doorway and tried making my mom fall on her stomach
my sister tried killing me in the womb
I love to see children who are so delicate and gentle with animals. It warms my heart amidst a sea of brats pulling cats’ tails and getting whacked.
Also JESUS THAT’S A SNUGGLY CHICKEN.
I love how she reaches up on her tippy toes to snuggle into his shoulder.
(Source: hannahbowl, via sleepwell-darlingg)
one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves
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